Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
BUT I think I might be too infatuated with it. And because I am thinking about it so often, it's almost as if I expect to drop a pound every hour. Every morning I wake up and plan what I am about to eat for the whole day...then all day long I think about how every bite of healthy food is going to make me more fit and trim...then I think about how I can't wait to feel light and carefree and then go shopping and buy all of the cute clothes I have been desiring for some many years while they were out of reach. I get so consumed with it all that I just expect that it happen faster...and it's not going to. It's almost as if I am forgetting that there is a great life going on around me because I have allowed myself to go to tunnel vision where all I see is Weight Watchers. All of my energy and focus are being put into one thing and I am neglecting all of the other important parts of my world.
So, I'm making a new goal today: I'm going to live life to it's fullest and not focus on the fact that I'm losing weight...i'm just going to enjoy the process of getting healthy while celebrating all of the great moments that make up my days.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thank you for those that have been so encouraging! 90 to go!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
I am continuing to find motivation in God. I know that he wants me to take care of my temple so that I can be a vessel that he can continue to use for years to come...if that be His will. Also, I continue to find motivation in being honest with myself that I don't feel well. My joints have begun to hurt and it's harder and harder to get up and down. Honestly, those things are hard to admit because they are embarrassing but I needed to say them because I have been in denial about how I have really felt for so long. But now, just this past week, I can already tell a difference in my energy level. Now, whether this is a "mind over matter" situation or not, I'm still excited and looking forward to the day that I can get up and down with ease and not fear physical activities.
Friday, January 11, 2008
I have a love relationship with my kitchen. When we were looking at this house, our little country house, the kitchen is what completely sold me. It is amazing. It is the size of two very large rooms put together with lovely details such as wood floors, a very large 4 pane bay window with two other windows spread out in the kitchen to give the room so much natural light, an island custom built, two large columns at the entrance, custom painted cabinets, crown molding and so much room to cook! I just adore it. And I adore cooking so our kitchen gets a lot of my attention.
And, of course, I painted it red. Well, Fireweed from Sherwin Williams to be exact. Red gives that passionate personality that a kitchen should have...at least for me. Paint colors are all about personality.
I have always heard that a good kitchen will be the heart of the house...the place where everyone gravitates, and mine has become just that. What inspired this blog was the dinner party Jeremy and I had last week with our wonderful friends, John and Jason Hylton and Cassie Jetton. We had a great night of food, laughter and lots of Guitar Hero...and with that, a dose of "healthy" competition between Jason and I. Ha. Guess who won? Anyway, while they were there, I noticed that even though they would go sit in the living room for a bit, they would always get up and come back into the kitchen. There is something about the kitchen that promotes conversation...maybe the fact that there is no Television to distract...and I love conversation. And as the migration to the kitchen became more frequent, I thought how wonderful it is that I have a kitchen that is the heart of my home. Or maybe it was that incredible Cajun Crab dip I had picked up at Publix? Well, whatever it was, our kitchen had a lot of love that night.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Since this is my honest blog where I can discuss whatever I please, I will tell you that I have suffered from an anxiety disorder for about 4 years now. After mentioning that fact, I would like to praise God that it has become much less severe over the years and most of the time I feel like a normal person, which...who are we kidding? These days normal seems to mean that you suffer from either anxiety,depression or some sort of personality disorder! At some point I will explore my feelings on why society has turned us into pill popping, chocolate dependant paranoid freaks.
But, I digress...
Anxiety comes in many different forms. Seasonal Affective Disorder is where our bodies and emotions are plagued by the ever changing seasons. This is so unfortunate because this means that for pretty much half of the year people are dealing with even more depression just because it's dark outside at 5:00!
How can we get away from this? What did people do in the times of old when there was no diagnosis for this and no benzodiazapines to get that seratonin flowing? I will also say that no matter my faith, I still have my struggles and it is NOT because I don't believe that God can heal me.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Just an FYI, I went to the center in Rivergate on Thursday and signed up for the program. After watching the Oprah episode where these amazing human beings had lost tons of weight without diet pills or surgery, (we are talking about a 300-500 pound weight loss), I became confident that I would be able to loose the 100 pounds that have been plaguing me for a few years. I listened to these people talk about the difference that losing this weight has meant in their life and I decided that it was time for me to get control and truly make this decision...which is what it takes. After years of trying different diets mainly because I felt pressure to be a look a certain way for other people, I ended up on a dreadful cycle of losing and gaining just to find myself 60 pounds heavier than I was when I went on my first diet. Now, I am married to a wonderful man that doesn't care if I lose a pound, surrounded by friends and family that see me for who I am as child of God and not the size clothing I wear and a church that has embraced me and given me great opportunities to be involved in ministry and find purpose in those involvements. So, I am now losing weight for me and for my health, (and yes, that fabulous Anthropologie wardrobe that I have been dreaming of for years!)
So, back to my original statement of having no issues with Weight Watchers. I have cooked a couple of low point meals in the past two days that have been DELICIOUS and have left me feeling satisfied and knowing that I can make this way of eating a lifestyle and not just a short term diet. The only thing I am finding difficult is getting in my vegetables. I LOVE vegetables BUT they truly are an inconvenient food. I guess I'm going to have to start downing vegetable juice. Because even though Weight Watchers gives you the freedom to eat whatever you want as long as it's in your points, I want to make healthy changes like getting more vitamins and fiber in my daily food intake.
I will update you on Saturday when i weigh in at my one week on the diet. I am not getting on a scale before my weigh in day because I really don't want to focus on the number so much.
Hmmm...one other tid bit of information about this weight loss goal...I want to be able to wear tall boots! I can't at the moment because my calves are big and tall boots just don't look right!
Thanks for reading!
Friday, January 4, 2008
To begin, let me list a few of my goals this year. I have decided to do this because of an inspirational sermon the Pastor Aaron gave on Goals this past Sunday. One of the things he mentioned was that people who list their goals are more likely to accomplish them. The other reason I am doing this is because I believe there is accountability in putting your goals out there for other people to see. Even if no one ever says a thing to me about them, I will know that they are out here...
1. Spend more time reading. This includes the bible and various literature. I want to continue to grow my relationship with the Lord and expand my intellect.
2. I want to work on many aspects of my personality. I believe that the statement, "That's just the way I am" is defeatist and untrue. I can change through Gods strength and my will power.
3. Get Healthy. I am going to lose weight. This has been an ongoing battle but this is the year that I am going to take positive control. I know it's not going to be easy, but most things worth doing aren't easy.
4. Travel more. Even if it's just for a weekend. I want to see more of this country. When I was on a plane to Italy a couple of years ago I sat next to a professor who said something to me that has really become a firm belief of mine. He said: "I travel because I want to experience different cultures not only because it's interesting, but because I want see if another culture would suit me better. I want to know that I live where I live because it's the best culture for me, not just because that's where I've been born and raised."
5. Be more active in personal ministry to those who God has surrounded me.
So there you have it. Five goals that I want to accomplish. These are not so much "2008" goals as they are my Life Goals.