I am so ready to go on vacation. I am feeling it today more than ever. I can tell my body and mind are getting really worn out from everything I’m involved in. And I don’t want to ever get that way. In the past, I have actually had a little breakdown. Not a “put me in the hospital” kind, but the kind where you just cry and are irritable because you have so much going on and you feel burnt out and that’s making you not work your best any longer. And honestly, I feel like I’m on the verge of another one of those. I know that I almost always appear to be very happy and confident, but sometimes it’s just because I don’t believe that anyone else should have to experience me in a bad mood. Except my poor sweet husband who gets to see that side more than he or I would like. So right now, I don’t care how eloquent this blog is or how witty and creative I usually try to make them. I’m just venting. I’m tired. My home is being neglected because I am never home. And when I am home I just want to sit and rest but then something always comes up. I have so much going on and I see no room for cuts. The time I use to spend at home has been cut down because now I’m working out. But I can’t cut working out because it’s good for me and my body needs it. Then work is very busy…I work 40-50 hrs. depending on the week. But I can’t cut work out because I need the money. Then there is church, which I love. Being involved with the Youth is where I find so much joy and fulfillment. I know it is part of my purpose at this point in my life and there is no way I’m cutting back on it. Then there is cultivating relationships with my husband and friends. Trying to make any moment Jeremy and I have together a quality moment. Being with him is my favorite place to be. Then finding time where I can hang out with my friends who allow me just time to be ridiculous me. Then finding time to keep up with my parents and sister so I am a good family member. I just wish they lived here. It would be so much easier. Then trying to find time for God. And this is probably the problem. I am trying to fit Him in to my crazy life instead of fitting everything else around Him. Sigh.
My main point is that I just feel like I am spreading myself so very thin and that no one thing ever gets the best I have to offer. Jeremy and I leave for Savannah, Georgia on April 30th. We will be gone for 6 days and I am just so very excited to get away and breathe. *tear*