I know that this is random and not at all intellectual, but have you ever stared in the mirror for a long time and disected your face? This is what I did this morning. So here I am, staring intensely into the mirror just watching my pores get bigger when I notice how big my nose is. In fact, since I have lose weight, (19 pounds), it seems to be getting even larger! Then I sucked my nose in so for just a split second I could catch a glimpse of what my face would be like with a smaller version of my nose...much better, I will say. Then I start to notice that my eyes are pretty far apart...not ridiculously far apart but enough that they are making my face look wider. Then I decide that my face is much too round and my chin isn't defined enough and my eyebrows are never the same size or tweezed perfectly like so many people's are. And then I see the little wrinkles and I start to wonder how long it will be before I have tons. This brings me to my cheeks that look as though I am storing nuts for the winter...even though it's winter so they shouldn't be there. Then I look at my teeth...now, being completely honest, my teeth bother me more than anything. They were once so straight but because I stopped wearing my retainer long ago they have gaped a tad an moved. If only I could afford caps...sigh. And don't you hate those days where your hair will just not fix the way it did the day before? the day everyone said how good your hair looked? And you just wish that stupid cow that licked your forrhead would come back and lick it the opposite way because you are really angry that your bangs won't lay right. Argh!
Now, after saying all of this and people preparing to type the, "you are beautiful just the way God made you" comments, I do love me. Flaws and all. I'm a woman hence I pick...at others and myself. It took a long time for me to come to the point that I am not defined by how the world sees me, what the world judges as beautiful, intelligent and talented. I am however defined by the word of God. I look at myself daily and remind myself that it is my heart that makes me truly beautiful and my outsides aren't too shabby either. As women, we have a real problem of comparing ourselves to each other. And on top of that, we are never satisfied with what we have...we always want something different; something more. There is that part of us that is restless because we are always trying out, in life, for the role that someone wants us to play...someone besides the Lord. And what I believe is more beautiful, more sexy, more interesting than that model with the amazing hair and perfect 5"10 body is a woman who is confident in who she is as a person, intelligent about what she believes, and beautiful because her heart is.