One of my favorite things

Lately I have been attempting to define what makes “me” happy, or in other words, what do I do for myself to keep myself refreshed and joyful. The list I have been compiling is not incredibly large, but it is significant. Today I would like to tell you about one of my passions, my loves, one of my top three things to do completely alone: Grocery Shopping.

Yes, you read that correct: Grocery Shopping. I absolutely love it. But, I only love doing it alone so that I can take as much time as I possibly want and roam up and down every single aisle and really examine all of the products. And, if I feel like it, I will go back up and down all of the aisles a second time. Why? Well, first because I can and no one can hurry me along. Second because I might have missed new and tasty. And now that I am eating healthier, it’s a lot of fun to look at all of the healthy products. I love the search and comparison!

I should also mention that I only enjoy doing this in Publix. Yes, I know, it’s more expensive for something’s but I figure it provides the same amount of relaxation as a $70 massage would so I think it balances out. Publix is just more aesthetically pleasing and they offer Cajun crab dip samples. That sample is enough to draw me in since I refuse to buy a container of it unless I’m having a dinner party because I will plow through that thing like it’s my last opportunity to have crab.

My typical shopping adventure starts in the sale bin section. It’s great because sometimes I can get granola or fat free salad dressing buy one get one free. Then it’s off to the deli meat where I love to splurge on Boars Head Salsilito Turkey sliced thin. Then to the peanut butter, jam and bread section where I pick up my favorite Smart Balance Peanut Butter with Omega 3 oils and Thomas Light Multigrain English Muffins. I have also recently discovered Thomas Mini Cinnamon Raisin Bagels. Then I turn around to grab some Light Laughing Cow Cheese. After the cheese I head to the Fruit and Veggie section where I always get mini bags of carrots, Romaine Lettuce, bags of fresh broccoli and cauliflower, asparagus, red and green peppers, Red Delicious Apples, Strawberries and Lemons. This is by far my favorite area in the store. I love to dream about all of the fabulous things I could cook with all the fresh herbs. Then I head to the meat department, (aka: the spend a lot of money department) where I get Tilapia, (if it’s on sale), bag of frozen shrimp, organic chicken breasts, extra lean pork tenderloin, extra lean ground beef. Then I begin my journey up and down the aisles while headed toward the milk and cheese. Along this jaunt I pick up things such as Stewed Tomatoes, Black beans, thin spaghetti, tomato paste, fiber one bars, EVOO, Italian seasoning and basil (I am always running out of these), skinny cows, breyers free ice cream, lean cuisine’s and so on. Then I hit the milk and cheese section where I pick up Light Yoplait yogurt, light string cheese, light cream cheese, milk. Then while I am standing in line to pay I inevitably pick up a magazine, (usually Country Living or Southern Living).

So, there you have it. My random blog on one of my favorite things to do to relax. Now, please share with me one of your favorites…

19 pounds

Because I am blogging my weight loss journey, i feel it is important to post pictures of my progress. Tonight I am showing a "Before" which was taken on Christmas night at my heaviest and then one I took tonight 19 pounds thinner. Enjoy! I know I will...

Beautiful

I know that this is random and not at all intellectual, but have you ever stared in the mirror for a long time and disected your face? This is what I did this morning. So here I am, staring intensely into the mirror just watching my pores get bigger when I notice how big my nose is. In fact, since I have lose weight, (19 pounds), it seems to be getting even larger! Then I sucked my nose in so for just a split second I could catch a glimpse of what my face would be like with a smaller version of my nose...much better, I will say. Then I start to notice that my eyes are pretty far apart...not ridiculously far apart but enough that they are making my face look wider. Then I decide that my face is much too round and my chin isn't defined enough and my eyebrows are never the same size or tweezed perfectly like so many people's are. And then I see the little wrinkles and I start to wonder how long it will be before I have tons. This brings me to my cheeks that look as though I am storing nuts for the winter...even though it's winter so they shouldn't be there. Then I look at my teeth...now, being completely honest, my teeth bother me more than anything. They were once so straight but because I stopped wearing my retainer long ago they have gaped a tad an moved. If only I could afford caps...sigh. And don't you hate those days where your hair will just not fix the way it did the day before? the day everyone said how good your hair looked? And you just wish that stupid cow that licked your forrhead would come back and lick it the opposite way because you are really angry that your bangs won't lay right. Argh!

Now, after saying all of this and people preparing to type the, "you are beautiful just the way God made you" comments, I do love me. Flaws and all. I'm a woman hence I pick...at others and myself. It took a long time for me to come to the point that I am not defined by how the world sees me, what the world judges as beautiful, intelligent and talented. I am however defined by the word of God. I look at myself daily and remind myself that it is my heart that makes me truly beautiful and my outsides aren't too shabby either. As women, we have a real problem of comparing ourselves to each other. And on top of that, we are never satisfied with what we have...we always want something different; something more. There is that part of us that is restless because we are always trying out, in life, for the role that someone wants us to play...someone besides the Lord. And what I believe is more beautiful, more sexy, more interesting than that model with the amazing hair and perfect 5"10 body is a woman who is confident in who she is as a person, intelligent about what she believes, and beautiful because her heart is.

Valentines

This is a tad belated but I thought I would share what Jeremy and I did for Valentines day.

On Thursday we did a small but intimate night of dinner at Painturo's and then to see "Definitely Maybe" at the theater. Even though it sounds so simple, we turned off our cell phones and just focused on being together. It was lovely.

Then on Friday night we went to one of our favorite places to eat, Germantown Cafe in Nashville, and had a long, romantic 2 hour dinner. The restaraunt is located right outside of downtown and it has all lots of big glass windows so while you are eating dinner you are overlooking the skyline. As always I like to tell our menu: For our appitizer we had Crab Cakes (one of our favorite things to eat), then for dinner I had the Beef Tenderloin with a Blue Cheese sauce, cheesey risotto and asparagus and Jeremy had the Braised Lamb Shank with Mashed Potatoes and asparagus. For dessert we had a Chocolate Bread Pudding. It was so tasty and we had the best time just talking about everything, laughing, being young and in love...

Whenever I am with Jeremy I feel so at peace...so calm. As much work as marriage can be, there is nothing like living, laughing and being in love with your very best friend.

Serious

Last night Jeremy and I went to see “Definitely Maybe” and loved it. It’s truly about time we saw a movie that was about the beauty of timing in relationships. The movie was captivating, inspiring and beautifully put together. I love seeing movies like that. Movies where you get attached to a character and want to see them succeed, or where you identify with a character or even when you fall in love with who a character is and are inspired to be like them.

Last night that character was April. She is this intelligent, free spirited, opinionated, joyful, beautiful character that makes you wish you were that way. She is real, passionate, and addicting. She is the kind of person you would want to sit and have coffee with for hours and discuss topic from a great candle you found downtown to Jane Eyre to psychology. While I am thinking all of this, Jeremy leans over to me and says, “You like her because you think she’s you.” And that brought me to a whole new level of thinking. Without sounding arrogant, this is the person I use to be…no long ago. For about 4 years of my life I felt very trapped and defined by other circumstances and people around me. When I was out of that situation, I started to find me again…and it was wonderful. My sister would say, “You’re becoming you again” and I loved it. I felt like that joyful, free spirited person that loved life and laughter.

Now, for some odd reason, I feel like I have become so serious. Everything is so serious. Does anyone understand what I’m saying? Where I once was able to laugh about something now it has become a serious matter that will send me through the roof on a bad day. I get uptight and don’t allow myself to enjoy the things that I once did. I don’t take time for the little moments because I’m too busy focusing on the fact that taking time for those little moments prevents me from doing all my serious grown up stuff that I must be SERIOUS about. My dear friend Margie once said I was “Head in the Clouds Lindsey”. She meant this in a good way…in a way that only she can explain, but I loved it. I loved the idea of just being light and airy and happy. And then, yes…you guessed it…the seriousness came. And I want it to go away.

The Mouth Speaks

Today I would like to share with you my thoughts on a scripture that we have read over and over again but it is a scripture that slaps me in the face each time I hear it...no matter how many times I hear it.

Matthew 12:34
"For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks."

Wow. Just read it again and take it in. Think about what that means. I will disect it with you...

When I read this scripture I first start to think about the kinds of things that come out of my mouth during the day and how much of it i'm actually paying attention to. I wish I had a tape recorder going at all times so at the end of my day I could review all that I have said to myself, my husband, my friends and my co workers. What type of reaction would I have? Am I speaking things of love, kindness, gentleness, passion, mercy, encouragement, optimisim? Or am I speaking negatively, of hopelessness, anxiety, worry, failure, gossip?

The point this scripture is making is that we speak whatever our heart is full of. And what our heart is full of is our responsibility...it's not out of our control, it's in our hands. "Abundance" means "Overflowing Fullness" or "an extremely plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply." So not only is it just about what we are putting into our hearts but how much of it we are putting into our hearts. Because in order for us to have an abundance of love coming out of our mouth, we need to be filling ourselves to the brim and overflowing with things of love. And what has more love in it than God's holy word? I know that I read the scripture but do I read it enough for it to be an abundance? Not hardly. In fact, i fear that I am putting more time into filling my heart with things that are not Godly. Why do I fear this? Because I am thinking back over my conversations with people for the past week and realizing the types of things I am discussing.

We all know that there is the "power of life and death in the tounge," so we cannot ignore that our words have power. They have power over us and power over the people we say them to. That is a great responsibility that we need to take seriously.

You know how sometimes when you say things you shouldn't but you justify it by saying, "but I have a good heart." God is telling you how to test that. Test your heart by looking at what's coming out of your mouth. So what condition is your heart in?

17 is the number...

...of pounds I have lost so far! I weighed in and I have lost two more pounds this past week for a grand total loss of 17!

I am giving God all of the glory for helping me have strength and discipline to get through this. I could not do this without Him. I know that because I have failed many times in the past and fell flat on my face. Praise Him for never giving up on me and always allowing me to come crawl back in his arms and ask my Dad for help.

Good hair, good food, great church

It's late. I just got home from a youth event with our church. I'm not in too philisophical mood at the moment but I would like to tell you about my great day.

Kristin and I started off the morning getting our hair done at my salon, Fruition Salon in Nashville. This was a great way to start the day because Keri did an amazing job on our hair and we looked great! So, since we looked great we headed on over to Green Hills to grab some lunch and do a little shopping! We ate at this new place, Zoe's Kitchen and the food was fresh, healthy and wonderful. We both would strongly suggest the grilled chicken wraps, pasta salad and pita chips. mmmmm.... We sat outside because we thought it was a beautiful day and amazing that we could sit outside in February. Then we headed to a few stores. We both ended up buying ourselves a little something in Anthropologie which made our day feel complete. Then we drove home and continued to talk about how great our hair looked.

Tonight we had the Youth Valentines Dinner. Both Youth Groups from The Hope Center and Sumner Life joined together for their first event. I think that it went very well and each person walked away knowing someone new. We have some amazing kids in this merged Youth Group and I am greatly anticipating what God is going to do with this group...how he is going to use them. They all rock.

That's my day. Nighty Night.

Out of the Box

So, I know that it seems like I’m obsessed with the book “Cold Tangerines” by Shauna Niequist and there is a good reason for that…I am. I am because she speaks so many profound truths that you would think would be common sense but because of our busy minds and lives, they become obsolete.

As I was reading the chapter, “Shalom”, I discovered something new about myself that I would like to confess to: I put people in boxes. I view each person in my life as “What place do they have in my life?” Or “What purpose does their friendship hold in my life.” Now, some of you might be thinking that sounds very selfish, but if you really look at how you view your friends and family members, most of the time you look at them the same way I do. As Shauna said, “I have been more surprised to find that I am given more life, more hope, more moments of buoyancy and redemption, the more I give up. The more I let go, do without, reduce, the more I feel rich. The more I let people be who they are instead of cramming them into what I need from them, the more surprised I am by their beauty and depth.” This quote has made me really sit down and evaluate the people in my life and how I have been viewing them. Because let’s face it, most of the time we end up defining a person by what they are in our life. For instance, I will use one of my very best friends, Kristin. When I think about Kristin, I think about how she makes me laugh by her wit and sarcasm and how I can relate so well with the way her mind processes things. I see her as the organizer of our events and how I feel like I am being educated just from being around her, how she is always so compassionate to whatever myself or our close friends are going through. How we are going through the same Weight Loss struggle and she is my dear accountability partner. NOW, that I am taking her out of the box, the box of “what does her friendship do for me?” and I am letting her roam free for me to admire the whole person that she is. Not just my friend, but what her character, her passion and her heart is doing for the world. I see that she is a humanitarian who is out to not just be there for me and our friends, but for anyone in the world that is hurting. I see that she wants to improve the lives of people by giving them a real Christian experience…someone who will not judge them but who will love them despite their race, income bracket, sexual orientation, religion, so that they will see the true Christ. She is a wonderful wife who is very dedicated to her husband, she has amazing work ethic at her job and goes far and beyond her normal duties, she is super loyal to her family, she wants to give of anytime that she has to be of service to those who need it, she has a passion for cooking and nourishing people…the list could go on and on.

My main point is, I now see beyond what I boxed her in with, (which was all good), but I have let her run free and watched all of the characteristics that maybe I was missing. I have seen the things that I could learn so much from her and I am starting to. We were created in God’s image which means there is so much more to us than meets the eye. We are beautiful, deep, complex, passionate, talented individuals. And we all are truly waiting to be discovered. So I am discovering my friends and finding that I am learning so much more of whom they really are and appreciating them more than I already did.

To my friends, thank you for being beautiful people and examples. Much love.

Proof!

Here is my 15 pound weight loss picture. Actually it is the most recent picture taken of me. That's my momma...who is looking quite tired because she had just returned from a cruise. I'm looking a little sickly because I had the flu but at least you can see some weight loss in my face!

political ramblings

With this blog, I am committing one of the great crimes of expressing one’s opinion: I’m going to talk about my current view on what’s going on politically. It’s been a journey for me and I’m sure that it will continue to be, but I am going to tell you what my little mind is thinking.

First off, I have always been a professed Republican. I grew up in a Republican household mainly because my father was well off and his views stemmed from what was best for his income bracket. Then when I became a Christian, the church that I attended made it very clear that as a Christian you must be a Republican and anyone who claimed to be liberal or a Democrat needed someone to throw some holy water in their face and then lay hands on them immediately. I didn’t really question this too much because it seemed right. As a Christian I didn’t believe in abortion, homosexual marriage or taking prayer out of schools and that seemed to line up with the Republican state of mind. I mean, in the first election I voted in George W. Bush said he consulted God for his decisions and prayed. Perfect!

For many years I did not question this. I believed as I was told a Christian should believe. I voted as I was told that a Christian should vote. True, this was my own ignorance and stupidity to just believe whatever I was told and not research for myself what I actually believed. But today I have. Yes, I have married a man that is a professed “Independent with Liberal Leanings”, but more than that, he is a very educated many who spends a lot of time reading and studying politics. So, while some of you are thinking, “she only feels this way because Jeremy believes this way,” I want to let you know that is not true in anyway. (Those of you who really know me know how utterly stubborn I am and that I won’t agree to something unless I truly agree to it.) But, he has educated me on some things.

First and foremost, as a Christian, I am concerned about the welfare of people…human beings who have a right to a good life…a fair life. I believe that everyone should have the ability to have a shelter, food, a chance for a job and medical coverage. If this means that people have to go on welfare to get it, then so be it. I am not against the program of Welfare. Of course there are people who abuse it, but there are also many people who truly need it. I think that the standards of receiving these benefits should be more closely defined, but I believe it is a beneficial program because of the number of people that it does help. There are many who are saying, “Well I don’t want my tax dollars going to lazy people” So what about those who aren’t lazy? What about those that are in situations that you or I have never been close to being in? Why should they suffer? Jesus said to feed and clothe the poor. JESUS said this. Yes, this is an expense but it is one that most of us can afford. However, I do think that the church should be doing more for this cause because it is our duty…our call.

This all brings me to my next point. Taxes. Don’t we all get tired of seeing how much money we lose in taxes? I know that I and many around me would be considered Middle Class…blue collared. As a Republican in the past, I did not realize that my vote was not so much benefiting me financially as it was people like my father and CEO’s of companies…you know, the people who don’t need the tax break as much as people like me and most of you. The Bush tax cuts did absolutely nothing for me. I want to vote for someone who is truly going to lower taxes for middle and lower income families. The previous administration did nothing of the sort.

You know, as I am typing I am thinking that this blog could go on and on. I could discuss my view on Education, Immigration, the War in Iraq, Gun Control, Homosexual Marriage, Abortion…but I am not going to because it would be even more lengthy than this blog already is. But I want to conclude with this.

Most people who profess to be a Republican Christian found their beliefs on this: Abolish Abortions, Homosexual Marriage and reinstate Prayer in Schools. Morally, I agree with this as well. Politically, History has shown that the Republican Party has been in power for quite sometime and have done nothing to make changes to where our world is currently. So here we are basing our vote on something that they used to get us emotionally wrapped up, by saying they were going to change these things and then they didn’t do anything. And let’s be honest, does anyone really believe that Abortion is going to be outlawed? Even if they say that homosexuals can’t get married, is that going to stop them from being in relationships? If we did reinstate prayer in schools, would that not lead to many using “freedom of speech” and instating Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Shinto’s, Wicca prayer in schools? My main point in saying this is: We are getting so caught up in 3 of the 50 issues that are out there. These three issues are blinding us to things that CAN be changed. Issues like Poverty, World hunger and disease, Education, Affordable Healthcare, lowering taxes, strengthening our economy, ending the war in Iraq, Immigration, Foreign Policy, Social Security, and so on and so on. These are issues that we need to be focused on. These are issues that most likely will and can be changed.

So I want to encourage you to study your candidate’s issues. Find out what YOU, not someone else, but what YOU believe. As I have been studying, reading, watching, I am finding out that while I respect my fathers beliefs they are not necessarily what is best for me.

One sack of potatoes and eight medium cantaloupes

I have done it! I reached the 15 pound weight loss mark! Now just 10 more to go and I will have reached my 10% goal! (meaning I will have lost 10% of my body weight since I started the program a month ago)

While I have found Weight Watchers to be an awesome program with so many options, I still managed to fall off the wagon this weekend. I had a little too much Italian one night and then yesterday's church Superbowl party, I thought it was the right thing to do to try everyone's desserts...you know, so no one would feel left out. Needless to say that I woke up this morning inflated by sodium and feeling a little down. But I didn't let it last for long because I know the best thing to do is to not let myself feel guilty. I just have to look at how I felt after I ate it and realize that while it was tasty, it was not worth the temporary satisfaction that turned into, "why did I do that?"

Do you ever notice that's how slip up's go? One minute you have determined that you can not live without that piece of cheesecake and after you have devoured it, you almost instantly feel remorse. We fall prey to so many "temporary fixes" that are just that. Temporary. They don't truly satisfy us. That being said, I do feel strongly that you should be able to have that piece of cheesecake or slice of pizza from time to time without the guilt...and I do. I just make sure that I have saved my points.

I still do not have a recent picture of me to show! Jeremy tried taking one for me yesterday but turns out my really pretty babydoll dress didn't do much to show that I have lost anything in the belly area! I will try to post a picture tonight.