I'm pregnant. Can you believe it? I certainly can't! And I will be 10 weeks on Saturday! Each and everyday I am blown away that God allowed this to happen in this timing. However, it's still unreal to me. I feel nauseas, bloated, hungry, abdomen round ligament pains, exhausted...all of these no fun symptoms yet still I hold my stomach and am completely bewildered that there is a baby growing that is currently the size of a grape. It has also made me seriously stand in awe of God's brilliance and majesty...to know that he created this baby and it's so tiny and that he created our bodies to grow another being inside of us. Wild!
Below is a note that I posted on Facebook but feel that it is important to post it on here as well:
When I found out I was pregnant I promised the Lord that He would receive all the glory for this miracle. If you would like to know why, keep reading!
I have polycystic ovarian syndrome which is a fertility problem. Back in February, jeremy and I decided we were ready to start trying to have a baby. The doctor prescribed us fertility medication that we were going to have to use in order to get pregnant. The night I was suppose to start the whole process, I was holding the pill in my hand and I broke into heavy tears. I knew without a doubt that God was saying it wasn't time to do this. I was incredibly depressed because I couldn't imagine why He didn't want us to start this process but I knew this was His voice because mine wanted it so badly. When I told Jeremy he understood and agreed and spoke positively that he thought our time was coming soon.
So we decided to wait and pray that God would do a miracle and let us get pregnant without the medicine. In that time between the end of February and the middle of March, God was teaching me a lot about giving up my control and letting Him take control do all glory would be to Him. And sometime in March, I got pregnant.
I had no idea. We weren't thinking about it for the first time in months so when I started feeling some of the signs, I didn't even recognize them!
Driving home one night almost a little over a month ago, I was thinking about how my body was acting funnier than normal so I called my sister who told me I should take a pregnancy test. I didn't want to do it because I knew it would be depressing. However, I pulled into Walgreens anyway. I seriously sat in my car saying " God, I really don't want to spend the money on this, should I really buy one??" I honestly felt like he wanted me to so I did. As soon as I got home I immediately took it and it was immediately positive...no waiting three min.!
I dropped to my knees feeling weak and amazed. God has done a miracle and we are so so humbled by what He can do when we let Him have control.
Don't get me wrong, I still totally believe that God uses medicine to accomplish His purposes, but we were very blessed that He chose to do it this way for us :)
I had trouble writing this because I feared that as soon as I put this out there I would be attacked, but I know that He is in control and not evil. I hope this story blessed you today!
I am fighting the worry of the early mother. The "is the baby ok?" "is it growing the way it should?" "will the baby be healthy and happy?" "am i doing everything I can to make sure the baby is healthy and safe now?" Every day I give these worries to God...release them at His feet and every day I pick it up again and the worry starts all over. Who do I think I am? Why do I think my thoughts and control is greater than His? Yet, this is my current struggle. My dear friend Margie said to me once, "Stop worrying! Hasn't God already proven He will take care of you?" She's right. He HAS proven this to me. Not only with this situation but throughout years of my life struggles.
I love this baby. I want our baby to continue to stick and grown healthy and perfect and live long after me :) I am already beginning to pray for this child's purpose. My prayers are that he/she will bring the joy and love of the Father into many lives...that he/she will never doubt that they are incredibly loved and that they will fall madly in love with Jesus at an early age and serve Him with all their hearts. I hope that he/she has tons of personality and possesses their fathers wit, intelligence and patience. (and his nose because I hate mine)
We go for our 10 week appointment on Tuesday to hopefully hear the baby's heartbeat through the doppler since we already got to see and hear it on an ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks.
Looking forward to meeting you little one.